Image Source: [PRIDE]
Chapter 1: LUST can be read here
Basic summary of the previous chapter: An exorcist named Mathieu just sold his soul to the demonic Muse of Lust (Francois) in exchange for the power and knowledge required to hunt down the demon that took Mathieu’s brother.
“Alfred, dear, why aren’t you eating?”
Since my history teacher will have to read nearly thirty pages of my work due to summer homework, I tried to do my best to at least make my responses interesting.
And of course we can’t forget the title of my essay
Anonymousasked, "Sorry if I annoyed you! I just love talking about self-comfort and body images. But yeah - if you're happy, then great! No need to change things up if you're chill. ^_^ Goodnight!"
Ah, see, I was worried you would feel that way, but that’s not true. You weren’t annoying me! Not at all! Ask anyone I know and they’ll tell you how much I love discussions about rough topics! I hope I didn’t scare you away because I really was having fun. VwV
Bed time anon. Night night!
It’s already way past my bedtime. >w>
Anonymousasked, "1) Your mom said getting a short haircut would make you butch and /ugly/? Are you kidding me? 2) Screw making people comfortable with who you are. If being who you are makes some people uncomfortable/fussy, then who even cares? As long as you're not hurting anyone. 3) I bet you look smashing in jeans /or/ a dress. 4) Your friends sound like stand-up lovelies. 5) SCREW SOCIAL MOLDS. Just straight up get rid of those in your mind. They're trash, especially when they come to gender roles."
All of that stuff sounds really nice, anon, but I’m afraid it’s not exactly applicable in all cases. ^^;
1) Yes, my mother said this, but she’s a product of growing up in an ultra-catholic house that struggled with the coming out of her younger brother. Everything’s cool now on the sexual front, but it took a reevaluating of faith for her and her parents that I strongly admire. Having a daughter who feels “masculine” now and then is still a bit hard for her to wrap her head around, so she accidentally says mean things without meaning to. After some discussion, her and I were able to compromise on a short-ish hairstyle, one that was short enough to satisfy me and just long enough to no longer be seen as “butch” by her. You can’t change people in a day, anon. One step at a time with a few compromises along the way and everyone will be happy.
2) I care and at the same time I don’t. It’s a nice ideal to be able to dismiss what everyone else thinks, but it’s generally not reasonable in practice. People can live however they choose, and I have chosen a path that causes the least amount of drama. Though I made the comment about people commenting on me wearing dresses that sparked this whole discussion, I am generally quite happy and rarely do I concern myself with this issue. There are issues I personally feel are more pressing and in need of addressing (like the near erasure of women in history because I love history but all the dicks in the pages are really stinking up the place), so in the end I have happily settled on a balancing act between society and myself.
3) Yeah, I’m pretty hot. Just saying.
4) They are. Very lovely. Best lovelies. I want to give some of them friendship smooches on the cheeks, but they refuse. TwT
5) I’m not trying to be mean here, anon, but you can’t “screw social molds” nor can you simply “get rid of them”. First, you must acknowledge their existence because they aren’t going to go away from the world because you pretend they don’t exist. Plus, I personally have a lot of fun analyzing gender roles, where they come from, and where they appear in society. My friends have grown a bit tired of my analyses of media, but it’s fun for me and your whole point is you want me to be happy, right?
I’m afraid at the end of the day, anon, though we’re having this discussion and I’ve said a few personal things, you care a lot more about my gender identity than I do. ^w^; I do apologize…
Anonymousasked, "No, it didn't sound dumb. Do your friends ever compliment you? I mean, besides potentially calling you handsome. I know that when I present as a guy, my friends don't usually say anything, but I think that's because 1) they don't really see it as anything special and 2) they don't really know /what/ to say specifically. Know what I mean? But when I present as a girl, they'll tell me my skirt or dress is cute or whatever. I think your friends are maybe trying to boost your confidence? Maybe?"
Ah, they probably are. They’re really the best people you could ever meet, you know? Not a mean bone in their body unless you fuck up something/someone they care about. I love them all very deeply, and to be honest I don’t think they make too huge of a deal either way unless they’re teasing (and they know my boundaries pretty well so I’m cool with it).
It’s the other people who also mean well that get to me. I guess it’s because like all of a sudden I’m wearing a dress and now they know how to approach me and compliment me because now I have fit the mold society has conditioned them to understand. Literally none of these people mean me any harm (my poor mother meaning the least of all but causing the most when she says a short haircut will make me “butch and ugly” but once I’m in a dress she can’t stop gushing), and I’ve never really wanted to kick up a big fuss over it, so I usually just stick to good ol’ jeans because I’m comfortable in them and they keep others from causing a fuss.
I’m not sure why you care so much anon, but you should know that you’re the first person I can recall telling most of this to. Goodness, I hope my friends don’t get mad… /owo\
Anonymousasked, "Why do you let the people in your life make you feel awkward about wearing dresses if you want to wear dresses? "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent", dear. Wear what you want!"
Hi anon. owo/
This is going to sound really dumb, but I have a pretty good feeling you think my insecurity stems from people saying mean stuff while I wear dresses. On the contrary, people say nothing but nice things when I wear them, and I’m not sure if this makes sense, but I don’t want the compliments. I mean, no one ever says I look handsome when I wear guy clothes, which would make me much happier. I guess…if people are going to be silent when I’m wearing jeans and a t-shirt, I don’t want everything to change because you can suddenly see that I have a figure, you know?
Ah, that probably not only sounded dumb, but really confusing, too. >w> Sorry.